Posted in Content

Content: NaNoLog Episode 3

Writer Evolution 2
Photo Cred: Central Oregonian Media Group

Four weeks ago, on the eve of NaNo, I introduced you to a 2015 side project of mine, keeping myself sane as I attempted to make new writing friends in a new state. As we conclude NaNoWriMo, I offer you the last few comments of the NaNoLog.

Wrimo Log, Day 18: The natives are quiet today. Perhaps it is because the more extroverted chieftain was otherwise engaged this evening and could not attend. Perhaps it is because, as I pen this, the cold is descending outside of our abode, and from what I’ve heard, it brings with it a crippling disease known as the Winter Blues. There is a sense of unease among my compatriots– of which there are more of tonight. It is possible that they felt the need to brave this coming phenomenon as a pack. I am nervous.

Wrimo Log, Day 20: The monsoon season I spoke of last week was a mere distraction! Only a small blip in comparison to the feat I have beheld this evening! The winter has come, and it has brought with it a hellish white substance that falls in small specks from the sky. It sticks to everything around and makes it slick as oil– including the village thoroughfares. Though I feared for my life, I feared even more for my entry into the inner sanctum, and I thus braved the odious powder and struggled onward toward the meeting point. The natives think me crazy for causing such a frenzy, but they are being nice about it, for now. I suppose it shall not matter in the long run. My odds of surviving the return trip are slim, as the roads are predicted to become far worse. Perhaps this log will freeze alongside me and will be discovered in spring with my long-forgotten body.

Wrimo Log, Day 21: The natives are pleased to see that I survived my return trip last night. The powdery substance has vanished, for now, leaving the thoroughfares navigable at present. I embarked, yet again, on the Ritual of the Bear, and this time, I was left to my own devices and spared the ridicule. There was actually writing at this venture, which made me hopeful. Perhaps the changing weather has also brought with it a change in agenda.

That concludes the 2015 NaNoLog! BUT WAIT, you ask. Did I survive? Was I elevated into the Inner Sanctum? My ability to contact base camp was cut off after the 21st of that month, but here, I offer a bonus that I wrote at the beginning of 2016:

NaNo Log Day -13

I must begin this transmission with my deepest and most sincere apologies to Base Camp. Nearly a full year has passed since I last made contact with you all. It is likely that, seeing as my last transmission concerned a terrifying white powdery substance that severely threatened my life, you all thought me dead. Tonight, however, I am pleased to finally resume my regular transmission schedule, at least for a short time. Contrary to the horrific fate you must have imagined befell me, this lapse in communication was actually indicative of a successful advance in my studies. Allow me to explain.

As you will recall, the last messages you received from me contained crucial information concerning my attempted entrance into the chieftains’ Inner Sanctum—the mission for which I was sent. At the conclusion of the hallowed NaNo season, the only season in which I was allowed to make contact with the tribe and its elusive Inner Sanctum, I was, in fact, invited to join them. It was a somewhat competitive selection process, eventually narrowed down to two hopefuls, from which they selected me. Upon my admittance, I was informed that they regretted being unable to accept us both, but the communal throne only seated four people. Thus, they selected me, despite the fact that a new member had not undergone the harrowing admission process in several years. Poised on the brink of successful completion of my life’s work, I declared that I was up for the challenge.

It was then that I realized that I would not be permitted to communicate with the outside world until the successful completion of my initiation. Effective immediately.

I could write several volumes concerning the year-long process of initiation I underwent to prove myself to the Inner Sanctum (it will probably be in my memoir). However, in the interest of time, I shall abbreviate my experiences to the bare necessities. The key element of the initiation process was the ceremonial sampling of the Twelve Sacred Pies—one presented during each month of the calendar year. The process is intended to teach patience, culture an adventurous spirit, and fatten one up so that one cannot outrun the remainder of the Sanctum should one seek to escape. As horrific as this sounds, the true experience was unimaginably worse. For the duration of the Sacred Sampling, the Sanctum attempted continuous brainwashing and sabotage. They dug at my individuality. They infected my very soul with ludicrous ideologies as they searched and searched for a spiritual essence known as my Feeling. Perhaps they believed that if they located this Feeling, and successfully injured it, I would be fully theirs. I admit to you, Base Camp, some days it was an excruciatingly laborious experience. At times, as they assaulted my mind with gruesome family tales and crude euphemisms, I was sure I would fail. However, thank the great stars, I am still alive. I have survived. Tonight, I have eaten of the Twelfth Sacred Pie.

Shortly after my final bite, my success was acknowledged via a sharp slap on the buttocks from the sub-chieftain and a round of raucous, painful laughter. There was little other acknowledgement other than the return of my communications systems, with which I am secretly drafting this transmission. It is here that I report, with a devilish sense of accomplishment, that I have accomplished the first phase of my mission and gained full membership in the Inner Sanctum.

The joyous advantage of this newfound ascension into the elite is that I now know all of the inner workings the chieftains have prepared for this coming NaNo season. Preparations have begun. The second phase of this mission is in full swing.

Rest assured, Base Camp, I will not let you down. By 11:59 on November 30th, the Inner Sanctum will have been systematically dismantled and destroyed. You have my word.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading the NaNoLog! I promise we will return with non NaNo-related programming next week!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s